my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
