There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
