went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
