am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
