I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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