Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
