I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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