Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
