Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
