Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And the cops told us we were all naked.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
