New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize