her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
