She is in my trunk
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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