I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
