id be glad to
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
