1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
