Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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