Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
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Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize