All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
