"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
