Duck Duck Cougar?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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