this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
