Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
