....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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