There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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