I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
