After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
