I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
