i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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