quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
