i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
