lets start a swedish sibling band together
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize