I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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