Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize