Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
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