so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize