We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
