is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
third nipple confirmed
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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