Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
