She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
