Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
