we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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