Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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