she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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