Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
