I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We have so much sex to catch up on
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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