He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just found puke in my bra..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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