wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
