She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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