I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
