At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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