I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
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WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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