i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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