I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
