I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize