By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
