ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
