So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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