you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
