hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
