I wish i was in the wii world.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
