i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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