Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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